Communication

 We as humans are very social. Our relationships with others are one of the most important things we have. Especially with the members of our family. Because of this, it is important that there is healthy communication in our families. Lack of communication or negative communication can ruin a relationship while healthy and positive communication can greatly strengthen a relationship. Communication is the means of sending or receiving information. As might be expected there are numerous aspects of communication such as verbal, writing, facial, and physical. 

But what constitutes positive or negative communication? The scriptures help shed a little light on this subject. Ephesians 4:29, 31-32 says “29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” It is clear that matters that are said out of anger or hate can be very damaging. For that very reason, the Apostle Paul taught that these things should be put away. Instead, we should seek to edify. Edify means to instruct or improve (someone) morally or intellectually. As we communicated with our family members we should strive to uplift them and help them Improve. 

Some more wisdom can be found in Proverbs 15:1-2. “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.” When communicating with family members it is always necessary to be calm and considerate. Being brash and angry can lead to animosity and broken bonds. “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;” Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-43. Though this speaks specifically of the priesthood it can be applied to all forms of relationships. As we communicate with each other we must be kind, patient and when correction is needed it should be sharp but gentle to avoid the aforementioned animosity. 

To finish off I invite all to follow the advice of Marvin J. Ashton when he said “To be effective, family communication must be an exchange of feelings and information. Doors of communication will swing open in the home if members will realize time and participation on the part of all are necessary ingredients. In family discussions, differences should not be ignored, but should be weighed and evaluated calmly. One’s point or opinion usually is not as important as a healthy, continuing relationship. Courtesy and respect in listening and responding during discussions are basic in proper dialogue. As we learn to participate together in meaningful associations, we are able to convey our thoughts of love, dependence, and interest. When we are inclined to give up in despair in our efforts to communicate because other family members have failed to respond, perhaps we would do well not to give up, but rather to give and take in our conversations. How important it is to know how to disagree with another’s point of view without being disagreeable. How important it is to have discussion periods ahead of decisions. Jones Stephens wrote, ‘I have learned that the head does not hear anything until the heart has listened, and that what the heart knows today the head will understand tomorrow.’” (Ensign May 1976)